Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes? Groucho Marx

Scene 1: Rural town department store circa 1970, before security devices
Male Shopper: He folder the sweater he was thinking of buying and with direct eye contact with me he stuffed it inside his parka, zipped the jacket up to his neck and with one more glance at me walked out of the store.
Store Clerk (me) panic thoughts: Stop him! Wait…he is over 6’ tall, at least 250 and is the star football player in our small college town…ok, then tell the store manager quick! No, wait…he is this shoplifter’s uncle. My manager is NOT going to like me accusing a family member of theft. My word against his….this guy is going to get away with it.
On that day I vowed to never again compromise my values and to never again be so weak. Wrong is wrong and theft is wrong.
We have all been there, faced with a moral dilemma and sometimes feeling powerless we fold to acceptance. However, most companies today have a vehicle for us to voice our concerns. We can seek out the best avenue in our companies and ask for complete confidentiality if and when we are aware of wrong doing in our workplace. Please understand, I am not advocating running a muck and looking for every single thing that YOU think is wrong. Being too quick to judge is as bad as watching a guy steal a sweater. Just keep in mind, sometimes things are not what they seem. Generally accepted business practices and a good corporate ethics policy will guide you in telling right from wrong at work.
Most people do the right thing or are thinking they are doing the right thing. Sometimes it is a gentle word from a co-worker correcting a simple blunder that will change a person’s work habits to the good and improve their skills for the long term. Even workplace discussions about ethics will evoke renewed understanding in people who have before fostered an illusory sense of piety because they have not yet faced themselves and their tricky ways. And as always we should continue to look upon our fellow workers with love and understanding even when we ‘think’ there is something amiss. Sometimes it is “that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith” that we need to apply to allow correction in the workplace. Have faith in your fellow workers that they are an important ingredient in the renewal of ethics in the business world.

*That willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith Samuel Taylor Coleridge

DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THANK YOU?

The Story Begins….
Mother: “Did you send a thank you note to Gramma for the $50.00 birthday gift?”

Child: “No, I just don’t have time”, looking up from her Facebook page she added, “She doesn’t care anyway. Maybe I will do it when she sends the Christmas check.”

Grandmother, far away in Omaha: “Mary, you have been my neighbor and friend for twenty years now. Have you ever known me to be vindictive or even angry?”

Mary: “Not really, no. Why?”

Grandmother: “I am mad as hell at that ungrateful brat of my daughter’s. I send her money, I get on the train and go all the way out to the coast to see her, I am the one who picks up the check at dinner….yet, nothing ever from her. My grand-daughter has never sent me a thank you note – not one! So I am done. No more gifts, no more money and certainly no mention of her in my will.”

Child, many years later: “I wish I could have seen Gramma before she died.”

Sad story. It is a story that does not have to end that way. The simple act of saying thank you is the first step in right relationships and showing respect. Is the child in our story right in saying there just isn’t time in our fast paced world to send a card or stop and find a way to say thank you? Perhaps to some it would appear that way, but I suggest it is a cop-out for a ‘chore’ that doesn’t smack of instant gratification to the giver of the thank you. Too bad that it could be thought of as a chore since gratitude is the highest and best use of our time yielding vast rewards over time.

There is no right or wrong way to say thank you as long as the act is completed. However, there are considerations that show more respect to a person if the thank you note or kindness is shown in one way vs. another. Let me explain:

• Paper, written notes to say thank you are more appropriate to people over 50 who may or may not excel on the computer.

• Many people over 65 love getting mail in their U.S. mail box, so again paper provides the most pleasing way to go.

• When you are pressed for time don’t let more time creep by. Pick up the phone and say thank you verbally; it is still a thoughtful gesture although not as memorable.

• People who are seasoned with email and other computer programs love receiving e-cards. There are many e-cards to choose from. A personal favorite is Jacquie Lawson Cards https://www.jacquielawson.com The annual subscription rate of $12.00 allows you to send as many cards as you like to as many email addresses as you need. The cards are hand painted, in color, with music and loads of fun including puzzles and maps etc. There is no excuse not to send for every holiday, birthday, special personal happening and most importantly – Thank You!

• Those close friends who text instead of email or calls might be just as happy with a Thank You by text as long as you can personalize it to fit the situation.

It was said at one point in our culture that saying thank you is just common courtesy. Not so much today. Stand out in the crowd and do the unusual….say thank you with style, with your heart, with a pen and a smile.

How do you think of gratitude? As a duty? An investment? A joy? A type of blessing?

It is never too early to learn how to say thank you.

“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mannerly Conference Calls

Sharing this awesome slideshow with permission of the author. Enjoy !

11 Business Etiquette Tips for Awesome Conference Calls | PGi from PGi

A Smart And Ethical Mortgage Lender

This PDF is a very short story of a smart and ethical mortgage lender. Enjoy!
Said-Wise-Employer_-I-want-my-workers-to-succeed.

RIOT GEAR FOR WORKPLACE MANNERS

“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot…” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Friday

Re-read Robert Heinlein’s quote above and consider him to be speaking about a workplace, private or government. Can you visualize uncaring, rude, inconsiderate employees creating such havoc on a business that it might be more disruptive than an out and out street riot complete with looting?

Really? How would this even get started?

If we look to the business leadership we may get a clue of how a riotous workplace could get started. Owners and managers are called leaders because their employees are expected to follow their direction and if they continually display an extraordinary lack of consideration for their employees, the trickledown effect creates a workplace environment that exhibits rude, callous behavior. Sadly, this becomes the norm for employees who treat each other with ill manners and disrespect for the clients until business suffers, potentially killing the company.

On the other hand, if we look at the employees themselves who are operating under a considerate, well-mannered leadership, but we still see tension and rude behavior, we must look further to hiring and management practices along with on-going training style. Business temperatures also vary as market demands change. During peak seasons tempers can flare under the strain while during down times despondent workers, afraid of layoffs, can become bad-tempered and let their negative attitudes show to customers, scaring off what few revenue opportunities there may be.
What is good riot gear for workplace ill-mannered unrest?

Keeping in mind that riot gear only protects the business but may not solve the problems long term, lets first examine steps to take to improve the disruptive workplace:

1) An independent third party should interview management to learn, in depth, the strategic goals of the company and each manager’s attitude and style of leadership.

a. When caustic attitudes are revealed, proactively re-train the managers to pursue a peaceful workplace using a stair step follow up process. If improvements cannot be made we must remember and accept the fact that there are people in our society who will never be considerate of others. Replace those managers who cannot or will not change.

b. Give the remaining management new tools for a gentler and kinder workplace, ie, teach them kind gestures like opening doors for employees; asking how an employee’s family is; offering to help in the workplace when it is least expected and not part of management’s job description.

c. Instruct managers to in language skills that include thank you and please more and more often, and said from the heart and not as a snide aside.

d. Demand that mangers never belittle an employee in front of others. Teach alternative ways to handle employee corrections that are caring and constructive in a private, concerned manner.

2) An independent third party should also re-tool the training process for each employee from new hires to those who have been on board for several years. Items that may need re-tooling are:

a. An improved, clearer description of what is the desired attitude in the workplace. For example, is it ok to come in late and interrupt others with loud explanation of tardiness? If not, how does the business want the tardy employee to act when entering the workplace? Give several examples of respectful behavior required to keep the job.

b. A clear list for the use of the internet for other than business reasons that defines what is and is not acceptable use and what happens if the directive is breeched.

c. Dress attire is different for each business and each job description. Be clear about client facing work attire; and what is and is not ‘relaxed’ dress attire.

d. Language in the workplace should be clarified at the initial hiring. Slang, innuendos or sarcasm should not be tolerated as these lead to misunderstandings, emotional upsets and potentially sexual discrimination. New hires must be taught what the culture of the business language is and is not.

e. Teach and promote an ‘attitude of gratitude’ with the words ‘thank you’ as a staple in the business language.

f. Most importantly, teach and enforce how clients should be greeted, served, followed-up with and of course thanked.

g. Explain when play time happens. Companies should have joyful moments of celebration but in appropriate workplace joke time or playful physical behavior could end badly for the employees and the company. Not everyone laughs at the same things but we should all find joy in our work. It is a delicate balance best handled by the company with a culture of building up one another. ˡ

For those employees who cannot or will not change their riotous mentality, remove them from the workplace in order to retain a harmonious business. There are many, many people who, given the opportunity, would love to work in a considerate, passionate, polite company where riot head gear is never needed.
ˡ Romans 14:19

R E S P E C T ….. find out what it means to me

Respect is learned at home

R E S P E C T ….. find out what that means to me…..Aretha Franklin, 1967

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”
― Laurence Sterne, author

The handcuffed man was asked, “Why did you shoot the guy?”
“He disrespected me!” the murderer shouted back.

Many people are discussing the lack of respect for other human beings all over our planet. Murder displays the highest level of disrespect and disregard for human life to both people on either end of the weapon – no matter what caused the initial feeling of being “disrespected”.

America was founded on the principles “Under God” and “United”; guidelines that are in the process of being eliminated from our school studies and our everyday lives. As God’s guidelines are removed from our culture, there are fewer and fewer instructions available to teach us consideration for others. Respect is learned and earned and once lost, is very difficult to get back; but it can be won again when the moral fabric of our society is repaired and we once again live in civility toward one another.

Examine the word and concept of RESPECT while Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul, echoes in your head……. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

What does respect mean to you?

How do you define your respect for others?

When do you display the least amount of respect to another human being?

Try the following steps for the next 31 days, keep a journal on changes you see:
• End your emails with “Respectfully, Your Name”. This is easily done by using the signature block tool in your email program. This way you needn’t type it each time, however, typing the word ‘Respectfully’ does make us consider what it means.

• Out of respect for your reader always take time to spell check your email and re-read to insure a respectful attitude

• In a disagreement make sure you say “I do not agree with you at all, however, I respect your right to say it – or I respect your position.”

• When asking for another person’s time for your gain, say, “In respect for your time, I will make this brief, but still very heartfelt.”

• Respect and care of parents is a big thing in earning, keeping and teaching respect. Remember what God said in Leviticus 19:3; “Each of you shall give due respect to his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths holy. I the Lord am your God.”

• Show and tell your children what respect is and is not. Smaller children will enjoy and benefit from such stories as Respectful Rabbit in ‘Respect Wears Many Hats’; http://charactersofcharacter.org/an-engaging-story-session/ Teens may be more difficult to reach if society has already dumbed down their ability to respect themselves and others. Do not give up; look for teachable moments. Many teens and pre-teens are seeking more than society can give them…they have been watching you and wanting your respect; they ‘get’ that bullies are not respectful, and that their own bodies are more than the wiggle giggle of television and Hollywood marketing. Make sure you show them your respect by talking to them, straight and true. Ask God for just the right words for their ears. He will provide.

• Step away from the pack animals…think differently from the herd. Most media, game shows, Hollywood hype and on-line videos do not demonstrate a high regard for other people. Practice having and showing a higher regard for others and yourself.

And lastly, I wish you kindness….may others heap it upon you at work, at home and in your commute…..so that you may pass it on to others with genuine respect.

Temptation

Whenever I start talking about ethics in the workplace those around me hear my passion and often chime in with their own opinions or experiences.

Such is the case with one young woman who told me an inspiring story, which she agreed I could share with my blog readers, as long as I do not divulge her name or city.  Let’s call her Linda.

Linda works for a prestigious law firm in a large metropolis of influential people who have the kind of legal issues lawyers dream about.

A manager from a competing law firm asked her to lunch on the pretense that he wanted to talk to her about joining his firm.  Not wanting to quit her current job, she immediately turned down the invitation.  After his persistent invites and discussions with her husband, Linda finally did accept the lunch invitation at an elegant restaurant with an elaborate menu that tempted Linda to go off her diet.

Before the food arrived her host asked “How about a glass of wine?”

“Seriously?” she laughed shaking her head no. “It’s the middle of the day! I have to go back to work.”

“Oh, but we are celebrating.  I am going to make you rich.”  He placed a stack of $100.00 bills on the gleaming white plate in front of her. She had never seen so many large bills stacked up before and wondered if they were even real; or perhaps a joke on her set up by someone at her firm.

“All you have to do to keep those bills, and more coming, is give me your client list today and update me each time your firm signs a new client.” He then set a memory stick and his business card on top of the stack.

There was silence for several minutes as the tempting thoughts of a new set of golf clubs for her husband floated into her brain. Finally Linda said, “You don’t know me very well.  First of all, if you think money will tempt me, think again.  More importantly I do not cheat.  I don’t cheat on my diet, my husband and certainly not on my employer or the trust of our clients.  You offend me and whoever sent you here offends me.”  Then she walked out.

What a cool story about someone adhering to their ethical and moral compass

Violence, Ethics and Crazy People

Violence, ethics and crazy people in the workplace…sometimes it is difficult to ascertain which one you may be dealing with but keeping that “moral compass” front and center will help in these situations.

A reader wanted me to relate an event in his life as a successful business owner, in hopes that it will help other business owners who may be faced with a potential for violence at work. He asked I not use his or his employees names. Let’s call him Bill.

Bill approved the hiring of the manager’s daughter in one of his branch offices. He knew they were good friends with a peaceful, strong relationship that would not impact the office environment. A recent high school graduate, the daughter had not yet determined what to do with her life but was unwavering in her quest to be like her successful, Branch Manager mother. That was until she met John.

John was a high school drop out who dabbled in drugs and gangster type behavior. The manager, Ruth, told Bill about the new boyfriend more in an ‘oh dear me’ type conversation than an actual report. Both commented that ‘this can’t be good’. No further updates were shared on the budding romance for several months until the early morning warning call.

Sleepily Bill answered his cell phone “Hello?”

“It’s me, Ruth.”

“What’s wrong? Is the office ok? Was there a fire?”

“No, no. The office is okay but I have a situation and I am terribly worried. You know I have to be at work today. Something happened last night. I haven’t slept yet!”

Very alert now he asked “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Yes and for now so is my daughter but John threatened to kill her last night. She broke up with him a few days ago and last night he pounded on our door and shouted horrible things! I told him I would call the police so he ran. Later he came back with a rifle and walked up and down in our front yard screaming things! Oh, I am so scared he may come back. I can’t leave her at home but I have conference calls and employee reviews today. I need to be at my computer. I need to bring her to work but he knows where that is too. I have no where else I can hide her for the day. What should I do?”

Stunned, he said, “I will take care of it. Go to the office, both of you. Leave now, get there early. Keep the door locked! Be careful leaving your car. Tell the other three employees about this problem. I don’t want anyone in the parking lot. Once they get to the office make them stay there and keep the door locked. I am calling a security firm – I have no other choice. I am thousands of miles away or I would come there myself and ….never mind, I will get a guard over there as soon as I can. Remember, stay inside.”

A quick internet search provided a local security firm. After listening to Bill’s problem, Otto said “This is a tough one. I can not send any of my security people into this situation. Even though they are armed they do not really know how to handle this kind of thing.”

Bill’s mind whirled…who to call next? What to do? Oh this could kill his business in that area! What? This could kill one of his people! What to do???

“Look, you have to help me. I am all the way on the other coast, I can’t get over there. What can you suggest for me to do?”

“I will go. I have a Permit to act at this level and I have the experience as a former police officer to handle this situation. I own the company. I do not normally take the security jobs but in this case, well, I want to help you.”

A huge sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

“But be warned, I will be armed. Now tell me the layout quickly and I will get over there. I live about six miles away so lets beat morning traffic.”

The branch office was on the second floor of a two-story walk up. The single office on first floor was empty with a “For Lease” sign on its front door. The landing at the top of the stairs was large enough for a chair where Otto positioned himself, facing the front door which was fully visible across the first floor lobby. There was only that one exit and entrance. The back door had been locked by the Landlord with no shared key. “A clear violation of code”, thought Otto, “but good for me today.” Employees of the two businesses on the second floor must pass him coming and going. He advised all of them to stay in for the day and to keep the office doors locked. He sat and waited with a clearly visible rifle propped up against his leg and his Sig Sauer at hand.

Nothing happened that morning but at noon some of the employees wanted to leave for lunch. Otto walked them down stairs and to their cars. Everyone was tense, knowing the situation must be dangerous. Most did not come back from lunch. Otto stayed visible at the front door until 3:00pm then back to his chair.

For three days this was the ritual. Employees needed their income so each one came back into work, feeling confident as they smiled and said good morning to Otto. Finally on Friday Ruth heard from John’s mother. John had been arrested on a larceny charge. While in jail he wrote an apology letter to his mother which included a promise to leave all of his old girlfriends alone. He asked her to forgive him and tell everyone they have nothing to worry about, once he is released from jail he will leave town and start a new life. Ruth didn’t know weather to believe it or not but John’s mother was so full of relief and happiness that he would leave her alone it was clear she believed his story. “He is better gone from here. We are better if he is gone from here.”

After a long, moral, ethical responsibility conversation Bill and Ruth agreed Otto could go home and stay there. None of the employees took the personal time off that was offered. All of them felt good about being protected while at work, and thanked management for standing up to a bully.

“Bill, you could have ignored this, you know.” Ruth said as they ended the weekly managers meeting. “It was really a domestic issue. What a big expense to have a guy sit here all week cradling a rifle!”

“It was the right thing to do,” Bill said simply. “Now, go home and have a good weekend.”

Encouragement For Temptation of Food and Money

Whenever I start talking about ethics in the workplace those around me hear my passion and often chime in with their own opinions or experiences.

Such is the case with one young woman who told me an inspiring story, which she agreed I could share with my blog readers, as long as I do not divulge her name or city.  Let’s call her Linda.

Linda works for a prestigious law firm in a large metropolis of influential people who have the kind of legal issues lawyers dream about.

A manager from a competing law firm asked her to lunch on the pretense that he wanted to talk to her about joining his firm.  Not wanting to quit her current job, she immediately turned down the invitation.  After his persistent invites and discussions with her husband, Linda finally did accept the lunch invitation at an elegant restaurant with an elaborate menu that tempted Linda to go off her diet.

Before the food arrived her host asked “How about a glass of wine?”

“Seriously?” she laughed shaking her head no. “It’s the middle of the day! I have to go back to work.”

“Oh, but we are celebrating.  I am going to make you rich.”  He placed a stack of $100.00 bills on the gleaming white plate in front of her. She had never seen so many large bills stacked up before and wondered if they were even real; or perhaps a joke on her set up by someone at her firm.

“All you have to do to keep those bills, and more coming, is give me your client list today and update me each time your firm signs a new client.” He then set a memory stick and his business card on top of the stack.

There was silence for several minutes as the tempting thoughts of a new set of golf clubs for her husband floated into her brain. Finally Linda said, “You don’t know me very well.  First of all, if you think money will tempt me, think again.  More importantly I do not cheat.  I don’t cheat on my diet, my husband and certainly not on my employer or the trust of our clients.  You offend me and whoever sent you here offends me.”  Then she walked out.

What a cool story about someone adhering to their ethical and moral compass.

Way to go Linda!

Good On You, What Everybody Needs

The following came from one of my daily reads that never fails to capture the subject matter of my passion (ethics).  The author of the poem is unknown but the words are timeless and apparently it has been passed around for many years.  The title, if there were one, has been lost.  I share it with you, as the message is fitting for this blog agenda.  Please, enjoy.

The poet wrote:

“I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I’d rather one should walk with me than merely show the way.

The eye’s a better pupil; and more willing than the ear,

English: , Prussian philosopher. Português: , filósofo alemão. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fine counsel is confusing but example’s always clear.

And the best of all the leaders are the men who live their creeds, for to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it if you’ll let me see it done; I can see your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.

And the lectures you deliver may be very fine and true; but I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.

For I may not understand you and the high advice you give; but there’s no misunderstanding, how you act and live.”             end

Yes, the poet has it right.  Our ethics come to us by the people we follow, the life patterns we merely accept and of course, our surrounding inspirations.  The poet also points out that it is a big burden that we carry, for we are to also be an example of good ethics to others, no matter the surroundings.

Take action, inspire those around you….be an ethics driven role model and lead the way !

Good On You !